m_cobweb: (white cat meow)
The feline spay/neuter clinic* where I work is moving two months early (which is also three years early, as our lease was originally set to end in 2027) because the new owners of our building are going to start demo work at the end of June. Our last clinic day at this location will be June 13, and we have to be out on the 25th.

So it's been an... interesting couple of weeks to be the comms person, plus this has pushed our fundraising campaign into overdrive and messed up the timetable.The uncertainty around the developer's decisions has also changed my newsletter deadline repeatedly, but that should be going to the printer next week--including news about the move. We sent out notices to everyone we work with this week, including volunteers, and it went up on social media yesterday. Monday we'll do an e-blast to try to catch everyone else who might be some sort of stakeholder.

We'll be closing for two weeks (I try not to think of the kittens who will be born outside because of this and not survive) and then we'll be doing surgeries out of a portable in the parking lot of our new location, which won't be ready until September at the earliest. Admin staff will mostly be working from home, which may be nice for a while, except for my extremely non-ergonomic desk situation which probably won't be fixed by then.

Ultimately this will be fine and possibly better, because we'll have a chance to expand our services in the future. (Currently no one anywhere can hire a new vet, so it won't be right away.) In the meantime, it is going to be A LOT and much sooner that we were planning on.

At some point I will have to deal with the emotional aspect of this. The organization has been at this location 16 years, since before I started volunteering there in 2009. Most of us, staff and volunteers alike, don't have any memory of it being anywhere else. And I've been thinking that there are four things that have been consistent in my life over the past ten years: my marriage, my car (and that may be changing this year too), one of the cats (only one!), and this clinic. There's going to be a grieving process, when we finally have time to do it.


*We have a south end location in collaboration with another organization, but it's open only on weekends and that variably, and it shares space with other groups. They do a heck of a lot of surgeries, but it's not a location we can pivot to.
m_cobweb: (London sunset)
 They're changing guard at Buckingham Palace -
Christopher Robin went down with Alice.
Alice is marrying one of the guard.
"A soldier's life is terrible hard,"
                                     Says Alice.

They're changing guard at Buckingham Palace -
Christopher Robin went down with Alice.
We saw a guard in a sentry-box.
"One of the sergeants looks after their socks,"
                                     Says Alice.

They're changing guard at Buckingham Palace -
Christopher Robin went down with Alice.
We looked for the King, but he never came.
"Well, God take care of him, all the same,"
                                     Says Alice.

They're changing guard at Buckingham Palace -
Christopher Robin went down with Alice.
They've great big parties inside the grounds.
"I wouldn't be King for a hundred pounds,"
                                     Says Alice.

They're changing guard at Buckingham Palace -
Christopher Robin went down with Alice.
A face looked out, but it wasn't the King's.
"He's much too busy a-signing things,"
                                     Says Alice.

They're changing guard at Buckingham Palace -
Christopher Robin went down with Alice.
"Do you think the King knows all about me?"
"Sure to, dear, but it's time for tea,"
                                     Says Alice.

-- A. A. Milne, When We Were Very Young (1924)


m_cobweb: (cat's eye)
If you're involved in animal/cat rescue to any great extent, and/or are very active on social media, you are probably aware of Ashley Morrison, Youngest Old Cat Lady, and know that she died by suicide last week. I learned this Sunday night just before bedtime when I opened my Instagram to send a reply to our former cat-sitter, and the news was all over my timeline.

Ashley was one of our clients at Feral Cat Spay/Neuter Project. One week ago, last Monday, we spayed and neutered her last foster cat and her kittens. Ashley had just had gall bladder surgery and her mom brought in the cats. She was interacting with us via Facebook Messenger about how wild these cats were coming out of anesthesia. I assumed I would get to meet her in person once she recovered fully and was bringing cats to us again. Now I'm having to make social media posts for work about her loss.

Everyone at clinic was wrecked yesterday. Ashley asked people to send donations to us, and by the end of the day yesterday over $12,000 had come in. I think we would all give that money back to have Ashley with us again. I have to keep reminding myself she had reasons for making the decision she did. But there are not many people as good as she was in the world--I'm sorry, but there just aren't--and this leaves a gaping hole not just in the rescue community but in the world as a whole.

Ten days from now will be the second anniversary of my mom's death and I'm feeling a lot of things right now that I don't feel big enough to hold.

Go tell someone you love them. Be kind to an animal. These things matter.
m_cobweb: (London sunset)
Somewhere along the line I conflated the Queen of England with my mom. Not as strange as it probably sounds--my mom was Canadian and the queen was always in the background of my childhood. I grew up seeing Elizabeth's profile on the stamps on birthday cards from my grandparents and the money I spent when I visited them. We went to the Queen Elizabeth Gardens in Vancouver and I saw her in the parade at the opening ceremony of the Commonwealth Games in Edmonton in 1978. I even thought the young queen looked a little like my mom. Her death has pushed me underwater.

No one can really understand this and I know that. I haven't found anyone who is in anything like this position. I've sent out a few little paper boats, hoping for connection, appreciating any acknowledgment of them before they foundered. But I've had to take myself largely off social media, even though it's my usual source of connection, because it's not a place where nuance and context are welcome in a conflicted and complicated situation.

I thought I might finally begin the grieving process over my mom's death when I was in my hometown in July to clean out my parents' house, but I ended up too angry about discovering the secrets they kept from me for that to happen. But wow, with the queen dying, as I told S., the cork is out of the bottle and there's wine all over the damn place.

I had two panic attacks in four days over the weekend, one when I was ordering packing supplies for my parents' house and one when I discovered that I hadn't paid the electric or water on that house since before my trip there. Admittedly, if my bills were being forwarded to my new address like I expected them to be, I would have paid them. Still, it's not something I should have let slide, particularly since the utilities need to be on for the estate sale people to work and the house needs to be empty by October for the cash sale to go through. I might have lost the chance to be out from under the burden of this house with one forgetful action. Luckily, nothing was disconnected, the estate sale people are at the house today and they say they've seen worse, packing materials are delivered or on their way, and a POD is arriving at the house today. This may be managed yet. The grief? That's still in progress.

I don't believe in closure, necessarily, but I do believe that ritual helps. The queen's funeral is early-early Monday morning and I will watch it despite the hour, because I need to say goodbye to my mom and my childhood. This may be the only chance I get.

And then I will stay off the road as much as I can and avoid all unnecessary interaction because I've learned how off the rails I can go with grief and it doesn't help. Eventually I will start sending out little paper boats again and see how many of them can stay afloat long enough to arrive somewhere.
m_cobweb: (gloomcookie)
The Seagoth board and LiveJournal are how I acquired most of my friends. Leaving Facebook took most of them away. I concede the irony.
m_cobweb: (spiderweb)
I went through my archives and re-uploaded this icon just for this post. Because last night I was introduced personally to the Giant House Spider, a species which apparently was brought to the Pacific Northwest about 1900 and has since become rather famous. Notorious?

I don't think they're poisonous, but I've been told they will run at you. I'm not bothered by spiders in general, but if a three-inch version runs at me, that could change. (I hear some of you screaming from here, don't I?}

My biggest worry was the cat where I'm staying, but I don't think she's inclined to mess with it. I did zip up my bag that it was next to, not wanting a nasty surprise. And it was the first thing I thought of this morning when I woke up. I don't know where it went, but it wasn't on my pillow, and that's the main thing.

I still need to tell my clients they have one of these, but I'm sort of hoping I'll find its naturally-deceased corpse before I have to.
m_cobweb: (book ship)
 Disneyland adventures with lotsa pics.

Ship-spotting at Bat's Day
m_cobweb: (sinfest grr)
 So... how does one go about inserting a photo into a post? I've tried hosting it in Dropbox and also in Google Drive--no luck.

DW formatting has ruined my ability to post my last two entries. So frustrating--aaughh.
m_cobweb: (Jim)
Going over old LJ posts in search of something that might not have even been an LJ post, and discovering how many of the posts I enjoy the most now are related to my poor, neglected blog*. Perhaps this should tell me something.

(Relatedly, I call this icon simply "Jim," because that amuses me.)

* Hook's Waltz
(Accountability?)
m_cobweb: (pirate ship)
 New blog post. Occasionally I do write something that is not entirely Peter Pan-related (and which does not result in first-thing-Saturday-morning rejection letters). Although my ship icon may still be somewhat appropriate.

Weird words: A diversion
m_cobweb: (question   kitty)
I've had the slow-dawning realization that a lot of my friends think I'm quieter than I maybe actually am. And this is because a great number of you are geeks, while I am at best geek-adjacent. Which means I do a lot of listening politely and taking in your knowledge while not having much of my own to contribute. Please do carry on, I love to hear people being excited about something, I just won't have a lot to say in response.

Want to hear me talk? Ask me what I'm reading. Or for stories from the feral cat spay/neuter clinic. Or my thoughts on politics--er. maybe you don't want to do that.

m_cobweb: (Suffragette)
 I'd say I have a Twitter problem, except it might actually be a "the world is burning down in thrilling new ways daily" problem. Hypervigilance is sometimes a logical response. So I've changed my journal title accordingly, and thus it will likely remain for some time.

I have begun singing "Kitten Girl" to Willow, as per Dead Milkmen. She meows between the verses and she's generally a quiet cat, so I think she knows it's our song. She can be Cheever in unnerving ways, for that matter. Good kitty.
m_cobweb: (question   kitty)
User pic meme time!


little pink sock GIF

Since two of you wondered about this one, I'll take it first. This is Mooch from the comic strip Mutts, a cat who found a little pink sock on the floor one day and decided it was his favorite, most beloved thing ever. It's the icon for such things, which I'll demonstrate with my next post.


bunny stealing cookie

Yoink bun! He came off an icon community. You never know when you or someone you know might  need to yoink something.


Gothique

This was taken at the Gothique fashion show so long ago that I couldn't find it on the internet when I searched for it just now, which is why I can't remember where it was held. I was amazed how well the photos came out, this one, in particular. I figure it's abstract enough that it doesn't matter that it's more than 10 years old.


subtext gif

This is the writer character from the hospital-horror-80s-parody show Garth Merenghi's Darkplace. (Now on YouTube, I see.) I use this when I'm feeling particularly bitter about writers who dislike anything that isn't a surface-level three-act plot based on the hero's journey. Or when I have a lot of subtext in my own post.


dream swing

The dream swing, from an icon community. It looks to me like something that would appear in a dream, so that's the kind of post I use it for, or for anything suitably surreal.




m_cobweb: (cathedral)
Dirge Without Music
--Edna St. Vincent Millay

I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.
So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:
Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely.  Crowned
With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.
 
Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.
Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust.
A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,
A formula, a phrase remains,—but the best is lost.
 
The answers quick and keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love,—
They are gone.  They are gone to feed the roses.  Elegant and curled
Is the blossom.  Fragrant is the blossom.  I know.  But I do not approve. 
More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world.
 
Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know.  But I do not approve.  And I am not resigned.
 
m_cobweb: (pirate ship)
 There's nothing I love quite the same way as a blog post that falls into my lap.

Captain of His Soul

m_cobweb: (quill)
 New blog post, about the Historical Novel Society conference I attended a month ago. i have no excuse.
m_cobweb: (Default)
Wait, I have little pink bats for my mood theme? Must start using moods.
m_cobweb: (mermaid)
So, er, hi.

I'm not sure what I'll be doing with this blog (potentially making it into a literary-writing blog?), but here it is, just in case.
m_cobweb: (Default)



If you've been on my Friends list, you still are. Not that I don't appreciate knowing you still want to be there, but honest, it's not necessary. ;-)