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'cause I'm here on the other side of a jet black mirror
Jun. 6th, 2025 03:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cupcake_goth- I get to go back on HRT, THANK G-D. This will, of course, be revisited after my next (really soon) MRI, but hallelujah, I'll have some relief from the hot flashes, brain fog, upswing of insomnia, hair loss, and random crying.
- Speaking of insomnia, this week has been rough. Even if I fall asleep at a "decent" time, my sleep is patchy and broken. Add that to the fact that I actually need somewhere around ten hours of sleep, and I've been an incoherent mess all week. Today I feel like I'm mildly drunk, but without the fun part.
-minim_calibre and I decided YOLO and paid more money to get MUCH better seats for the My Chemical Romance concert. Did you know you could upgrade tickets purchased from Ticketmaster? I certainly didn't. But hey, a better view of the stage! I'm still sad that I'm going to see my precious cupcakes of bombast only one time on this tour ("only" omg I'm spoiled) but I'll cope. There's feverish speculation in the fanbase that maybe they'll preview songs from an unreleased album, or maybe they'll announce a new album. I love all this speculation, but I also believe none of it.
- Random perfume comment: If you love Goth Club 89 from the now-closed Whisper Sisters, Midnight Toker from Heretic Perfumes is a toned-down version of it. I hate the name, but the scent is lovely.
- Speaking of insomnia, this week has been rough. Even if I fall asleep at a "decent" time, my sleep is patchy and broken. Add that to the fact that I actually need somewhere around ten hours of sleep, and I've been an incoherent mess all week. Today I feel like I'm mildly drunk, but without the fun part.
-
minim_calibre and I decided YOLO and paid more money to get MUCH better seats for the My Chemical Romance concert. Did you know you could upgrade tickets purchased from Ticketmaster? I certainly didn't. But hey, a better view of the stage! I'm still sad that I'm going to see my precious cupcakes of bombast only one time on this tour ("only" omg I'm spoiled) but I'll cope. There's feverish speculation in the fanbase that maybe they'll preview songs from an unreleased album, or maybe they'll announce a new album. I love all this speculation, but I also believe none of it.- Random perfume comment: If you love Goth Club 89 from the now-closed Whisper Sisters, Midnight Toker from Heretic Perfumes is a toned-down version of it. I hate the name, but the scent is lovely.
a meeting of the minds at the munch
Jun. 6th, 2025 03:03 pmsistawendyI went to the women's munch at the Wildrose last night. Nothing unusual there, but who I ran into was: a table full of trans women in their late twenties. Trans women besides me are a regular feature at this munch, but they don't show up in a group and they're not especially young.
It's noteworthy for me because that's a trans age group that I don't typically spend much time with. There are the folks closer to my age and the teens at Lambert House, the Mercury, or (ahem) out & about, but trans women around my son's age are not the ones I usually run into. They had much to tell me:
It's noteworthy for me because that's a trans age group that I don't typically spend much time with. There are the folks closer to my age and the teens at Lambert House, the Mercury, or (ahem) out & about, but trans women around my son's age are not the ones I usually run into. They had much to tell me:
- There's a facial feminization surgeon around here, Dr. Liu, who does excellent work. That's something to think about if I'm even an heiress.
- There's been some drink-spiking at Pony lately. Uh, yikes! One or two of the assembled dolls weren't pleased with how it had been handled. That's a damn shame, because I'm one of many queers I know who otherwise love that place. They seemed so... together. So much more than I was at there age, struggling mightily to be someone I'm not.
And I'd also like to say how impressed I am with the current Washington State Ms. Leather and her partner, a former Ms. Leather, who organize this and many other shindigs. They work hard at pulling all of us non-cis-men into leather activities. Aside from warm fuzzies, there's nothing in it for them, really.
Nun remembers how to sleep.
Jun. 5th, 2025 09:51 amsistawendyAt the risk of jinxing things, I'm here to say that I've been sleeping unusually well lately. This is despite the days being nearly as long as they get around here above 47°N, and The Situation.
So why now? Well, it seems to be an annual cycle for me. My sleep sucks in February and March, but then gets better from there. The sunlight may indeed be part of it. I did recently turn off the HVAC for the whole house because it's the time of year when open windows do the job. Maybe less noise helps.
So why now? Well, it seems to be an annual cycle for me. My sleep sucks in February and March, but then gets better from there. The sunlight may indeed be part of it. I did recently turn off the HVAC for the whole house because it's the time of year when open windows do the job. Maybe less noise helps.
If this is a coronation I ain't feeling the love
Jun. 4th, 2025 01:52 pmcupcake_goth (Threat level: MCR lyrics as post titles)
Work is still :: hands ::
I've talked to some other folks, cone of silence engaged, about how to get better at communication with boss lady. I feel pretty confident now, but who knows how long that will last.
One funny thing about all of those conversations: apparently very few people realize how many people I manage. In the writing/design/research ... community at work, the only person who manages more people than me is my boss. Ahahahahaha.
---
The Seattle MCR concert is next month! I had an outfit idea which involves being sleeveless. Cue the Body Image Demons. In an attempt to shut them up, I turned to Tumblr for a pep talk and my G-D did they deliver. I think my favorite tag responses from reblogs were "I'm not sure if I want to fuck you or be you" and "Not to be a lesbian but omg omg omg omg".
So YES, I will wear my planned outfit and not give a fuck about my flabby arms. My therapist will be very proud of me.
---
There's apparently a goth book club starting up near me! I'm going to do my damndest to attend, because it sounds like a great idea. There's dancing at the venue after the book club is over. Part of me wants to stay for that, but it's all on a Sunday night, so I should probably be a responsible adult and head home after book club. Dammit, I hate being a responsible adult.
Work is still :: hands ::
I've talked to some other folks, cone of silence engaged, about how to get better at communication with boss lady. I feel pretty confident now, but who knows how long that will last.
One funny thing about all of those conversations: apparently very few people realize how many people I manage. In the writing/design/research ... community at work, the only person who manages more people than me is my boss. Ahahahahaha.
---
The Seattle MCR concert is next month! I had an outfit idea which involves being sleeveless. Cue the Body Image Demons. In an attempt to shut them up, I turned to Tumblr for a pep talk and my G-D did they deliver. I think my favorite tag responses from reblogs were "I'm not sure if I want to fuck you or be you" and "Not to be a lesbian but omg omg omg omg".
So YES, I will wear my planned outfit and not give a fuck about my flabby arms. My therapist will be very proud of me.
---
There's apparently a goth book club starting up near me! I'm going to do my damndest to attend, because it sounds like a great idea. There's dancing at the venue after the book club is over. Part of me wants to stay for that, but it's all on a Sunday night, so I should probably be a responsible adult and head home after book club. Dammit, I hate being a responsible adult.
News is where you find it
Jun. 4th, 2025 01:23 pmbrithistorianMy Google Alert on K-pop today included an article from The Korea Herald entitled "G-Dragon, Le Sserafim, Babymonster push on with overseas concerts amid COVID-19 surge in Asia". Since American news sources have gone radio silent on COVID, I ended up reading this article for infectious disease news rather than musical news. Here's the relevant part:
According to the Korea Disease Control and Prevention Agency (KDCA) on Monday, countries including China, Thailand and Singapore have recently reported a notable increase in COVID-19 cases. While the situation in Korea remains relatively stable, the agency warned that a summer resurgence is possible due to international travel and regional outbreaks.
The NB.1.8.1 variant — now dominant in the affected countries — is known for its strong transmissibility and immune-evasive properties, although its severity and fatality rate remain relatively low. The KDCA is advising high-risk travelers to these countries to get vaccinated before departure.
Books read, June 2025
Jun. 3rd, 2025 05:00 pmbrithistorian- 3 June
- I'm in Love with the Villainess, vol. 3 (Inori)
- Food Wars!: Shokugeki no Soma, vol. 10 (Yuto Tsukuda)
Louisiana is at it again...
Jun. 3rd, 2025 08:39 ambrithistorianPretty much every time I read a news story about Louisiana, I'm glad that I left Louisiana and am reinforced in my determination to never move back. Today is no exception: The Louisiana House has passed a bill banning chemtrails. You know, chemtrails? Those imaginary, thoroughly-debunked streams of chemicals that conspiracy theorists allege are sprayed from airplanes because they're too uninformed to understand the science behind contrails? Yeah, well, according to Louisiana legislators, those are no longer being used for mind control but instead are being used to control the weather, and Louisiana's not having it! (Because, of course, secret societies spreading chemicals through the air for nefarious ends are well known for their scrupulous adherence to state laws.)
On the bright side, they did at least have to foresight to include an exception stating that this law would not apply to "the injection, release, or dispersal of fire retardant or fire suppressant substances for purposes of extinguishing or suppressing fire, or to the aerial application of seeds, fertilizers, or pesticides for agriculture or forestry purposes." Of course, the exception would never have been necessary if they hadn't introduced their stupid law in the first place, so even the bright side isn't all that bright.
ETA: After Hurricane Katrina, A. and I did everything we could to convince her family not to return to New Orleans, but they insisted on going back. They don't seem happy to be there, and from time to time the idea of them moving will come up in conversation, but the combination of inertia and economics seems to have trapped them there. For the longest time A.'s mother would share any positive news story out of Louisiana, in an attempt to try to convince us to move back. She seems to have stopped doing that, but I don't know if this represents a change in her feelings about Louisiana or just an acknowledgement of the unlikelihood of changing our minds.
People download things...
Jun. 2nd, 2025 09:12 pmbrithistorianToday I got latest readership summary on my first master's thesis, on British educational policy, 1901-03. Apparently during the month of May, my thesis was download 10 times: Six times in Brazil and once each in Ecuador, Germany, the US, and Uzbekistan(?!). I wonder how many of those are going into training AI? (But like A. said "At least if they're using it for that, you know they're training the AI on something well-researched." Which is true — I spent hours sitting in the library reading Hansard's Parliamentary Debates on microform.)
One thing leads to another
Jun. 2nd, 2025 11:09 ambrithistorianI'm currently reading the May 2025 issue of Artforum and wanted to share with you some of the things I learned and, in the process, demonstrate how my mind connects things. One of the current exhibitions reviewed in this issue is of paintings by Alex Israel at Gagosian Beverly Hills, which was accompanied by a reproduction of Israel's 2024 painting "Gas Station."
Upon learning that this gas station actually exists, my thoughts immediately went to William Gibson's short story "The Gernsback Continuum" (published in Burning Chrome).
I then returned to the review, where the final paragraph begins with this sentence: "The works' very status as paintings—as art in a gallery—aligns them, moreover, with the long tradition of veduta painting, that of architectural scenes that don't necessarily demand forensic accuracy, edging sometimes into outright fantasy." Having never heard of veduta painting, I immediately looked it up (link here), and discovered I was familiar with this style of painting (the name comes from the Italian for "view"), just not with the word. From that page, I followed the link to capriccio, which is a form of architectural fantasy art and, again, something I was familiar with but hadn't known the name of. As it happened, one of the images illustrating the Wikipedia entry for "capriccio" was a piece by Giovanni Battista Piranesi called "Le Carceri d'Invenzione (The Prisons of Invention)."
This picture immediately caught my eye, because it reminded me of M.C. Escher's works, particularly "Relativity" and "House of Stairs".
This sort of connection-making, going from Alex Israel to William Gibson to Giovanni Battista Piranesi to M.C. Escher, bouncing back and forth over several centuries, is very much how my mind works. I'm constantly feeding in new bits of knowledge, which then bounce off of each other, make connections, and enable me to produce new things.
skipping out and serendipity
Jun. 2nd, 2025 06:33 amsistawendySaturday: skipped Modular at Gas Works, which gave me FOMO, but the weather wasn't cooperating. Hit the Merc. J made me shake my booty, which was good for me. It got going late because of Mechanismus, from which A had record recommendations that I really should look into.
While waiting for the bus home at about 0045, Much Younger Woman and her boyfriend stopped by to chat. Happiness.
Sunday: chores, sleep, and making social engagements.
Resolved: Modular on Saturday when it's indoors at Substation. I'm all about inexpensive bleepy goodness from local folks.
While waiting for the bus home at about 0045, Much Younger Woman and her boyfriend stopped by to chat. Happiness.
Sunday: chores, sleep, and making social engagements.
Resolved: Modular on Saturday when it's indoors at Substation. I'm all about inexpensive bleepy goodness from local folks.
Summer Reading Program!
Jun. 1st, 2025 08:31 pmbrithistorianWhen I was a kid, the library summer reading program was one of my favorite events of the year. First of all, there were the events at the library, which were not only a lot of fun but also ensured that I got taken to the library at least once a week. Secondly, being encouraged to read lots of books and keep a list of the books that I read was a great thing for a hyperlexic kid. I'm like "Yes! Please reward me for something I want to do anyway!"
I've seen a number of people on social media talking about they wished there were things like the library summer reading program and the Scholastic book fair for grown-ups, and now there is! The American Historical Association is holding a Summer Reading Challenge!
The challenge is to complete at least three tasks from this list between June 1 and Labor Day:
- Read a history of an event with a major anniversary in 2025.
- Read a history of a resistance movement.
- Read a history that uses material culture.
- Read an edited collection, journal forum, or other multi-author work.
- Read a history that's been sitting on your shelf too long.
- Read a piece of historical fiction (novel, story, poem, play)
Right now I'm mentally taking task 5 off the table, because unless I go out and buy a new book for the challenge (which I don't anticipate doing), all of the books I read will be histories that have been sitting on my shelf too long.
I got started today, starting to read Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel, with a goal to finish it by the end of June.
You can read more about the AHA's 2025 Summer Reading Challenge here, and if you see the hashtag "#AHAReads" around your social media, now you know what it is.
Apparently the real deal
Jun. 1st, 2025 11:55 ambrithistorianWhen I designed Rumkick's "Drinking Every Day" as a song of the day, silveradept asked if they were actually punk or if they were a manufactured group made to appear punk. I happened upon a couple of Rumkicks interviews yesterday, (here and here), and it appears that they are indeed actual punks!
drive-by update
May. 31st, 2025 12:07 pmsistawendyThursday: drinks and chat with a gorgeous woman in latex — who's almost exactly half my age, and therefore my son's age. Hey, at least this one is queer.
Friday: mastered meatloaf, slept for about ten hours.
Earlier today: buying a watering can. You'd think that as a crazy plant lady I'd have one already, but I finally got tired of trips to the sink and spilling water with fertilizer mixed into it.
Later today: devil girl manufacturing, perhaps the Mercury. The Mighty Orb seems to have taken a short break.
Friday: mastered meatloaf, slept for about ten hours.
Earlier today: buying a watering can. You'd think that as a crazy plant lady I'd have one already, but I finally got tired of trips to the sink and spilling water with fertilizer mixed into it.
Later today: devil girl manufacturing, perhaps the Mercury. The Mighty Orb seems to have taken a short break.
Daring to be a beginner again
May. 29th, 2025 08:12 pmbrithistorianI went to an online manga drawing class put on by my local Japan America Society tonight. I haven't drawn in years, and I haven't really had any formal instruction, so I made a conscious decision before going in that I Was going to forget everything I think I know about drawing and just follow the teacher's instructions, even if they don't make sense to me or if I think I can see a better way, and to trust in the process. I think I did okay!
SOTD: Ji Suyeon, "숲으로 떠난 물고기" ("The Fish That Left for the Forest")
May. 29th, 2025 03:17 pmbrithistorianIf you knew this song was coming, then you had to expect that it was going to a be song of the day here. I mean, come on: Former Weki Meki leader Ji Suyeon's first song since Weki Meki disbanded? You had to know I'd be all over that! Fortunately, the song lives up to my expectations: Suyeon's voice sounds beautiful, and the video, showing her wandering through a variety of nature scenes, is a treat.
a house for sale and a hullaballoo
May. 29th, 2025 11:32 amsistawendyWelp, our new real estate agent fired us for not quickly agreeing to pour money into the house. Honestly, the United Sister Front is, well, united in thinking it's just as well. Good Sister had already asked the agent a couple of times if she really wanted to work with us. GS & I want to minimize what we spend on remodeling, and Evil Sister has registered outright opposition.
Good Sister, being the go-getter that she is, already has someone else lined up. Let's do this thing.
Took the bus to get crafting supplies yesterday evening. Overheard people talking about the anti-trans rally over the weekend in Cal Anderson Park where 23 counter-protesters were arrested. Stopped by Mr. B's on the way home, and got both a cup and a bottle of mead. Yes, all of those sentences belong together.
Good Sister, being the go-getter that she is, already has someone else lined up. Let's do this thing.
Took the bus to get crafting supplies yesterday evening. Overheard people talking about the anti-trans rally over the weekend in Cal Anderson Park where 23 counter-protesters were arrested. Stopped by Mr. B's on the way home, and got both a cup and a bottle of mead. Yes, all of those sentences belong together.
