Lessons

May. 26th, 2003 11:13 am
m_cobweb: (spider)
[personal profile] m_cobweb
Post prompted by words from [livejournal.com profile] mahariel.

1) Communication really is everything.

2) When dealing with intuitive persons, see #1.

I often have the experience of strong, gut-level hunches that seem on a logical level to be misguided or exaggerated or just plain wrong. Sometime I think I must be losing my mind. And yet those hunches have proven to be correct 99.5% of the time. It's inevitably awkward, though, because talking about these hunches before they're confirmed often makes me sound as though I'm losing my mind.

Advice? Keep information from me at your own risk, because I'm likely to squirrel it out one way or another. And living with it banging from wall to wall inside my head just makes me react more strongly (read: emotionally) when the facts are out.

In addition, as we've all heard before, communication is critical in making polyamory work. Unfortunately communication is always challenging, in any situation. It's so easy to assume that things have been stated and understood. It seems especially perilous when people reach the point of closeness where a number of things can be unsaid and still understood, because there lies the risk of leaving something unsaid that really should have been clarified. Thus leading to...

3) Scheduling and clear communication of such is important. Leave nothing to chance! "Getting it in writing" is not a bad idea.

I'm probably sounding more hard-ass here than I mean to. Still, reminders are a good thing.

Re: Gut level polyamory

Date: 2003-05-28 09:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] m-cobweb.livejournal.com
Hm. How's your weekend looking? Otherwise, Monday evening looks good for me, maybe Tuesday (need to check with a friend, though). If not those, I'll take another look...

Re: Gut level polyamory

Date: 2003-05-28 11:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] musicandmuse.livejournal.com
Weekend: Sometime late Saturday afternoon I'm getting together with someone, so Saturday between like 11:00 and 3:00 seem pretty good, and Sunday is open so far. If neither of those times are ideal, we can say Monday. ;-)

Re: Gut level polyamory

Date: 2003-05-29 03:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] m-cobweb.livejournal.com
Sunday is good for me. Maybe 1:00? (I really need to double-check my SIFF schedule first before I commit to a time, but that sounds safe enough.)

Re: Gut level polyamory

Date: 2003-05-29 04:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] musicandmuse.livejournal.com
Let's plan on Sunday at 1:00, let me know, k?

Re: Gut level polyamory

Date: 2003-05-31 11:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] musicandmuse.livejournal.com
I sent you an email with an updated plan.

Ciao now brown cow. :-)

May 2024

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